September 08, 2010

The Beauty of Life

It has been a month and a half since my Mom died and as I look around my life, I scarcely recognize it. Grieving for someone you love is difficult, but losing someone you love in a violent, senseless act is something all together different. It compounds the grief but it also brings people together. In this regard, I have been blessed beyond measure.

I suddenly find myself in the unique position of being reconnected with family and friends that I haven't seen in years. When my mom first died I was overwhelmed with the feeling of being by myself, of being an orphan. My daddy (stepdad who raised me from the age of 4) died12 years ago and now I just felt untethered. I have a brother, Chip, that I love very much, but we had not been particularly close for several years. Then things started to happen. Chip and I drew together and it was suddenly all about me and him. Just like in childhood, he became my protector and I was once again the adoring little sister. Now I have formed new stronger bonds not just with him but with cousins, my precious Auntie Lane, old friends that I had missed terribly and even my Father that I have had no contact with for 24 years. He came to my Mom's memorial and is trying so hard to make up for all the wrongs of the past. I may not have been open to his attempts under different circumstances, but feel grateful for this second chance now.

It all just takes my breath away, fills me with happiness and hope and the certainty that life is what we make it. I wish it hadn't taken something so sad to fill my life with what it had been missing. I hope that if you take anything away from what has happened in my life this summer, it will be to make time for the people you love, right the wrongs in your life and let the people you love know, without a shadow of a doubt how much they mean to you.

41 comments:

  1. Out of bad there always comes good.

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  2. God is so good!! That's who He is. That's what He does! Even in the worst situations we can think of, He works things for our good.
    My heart is blessed with the sharing of your story. Thank you.

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  3. Hello Jen, What a beautiful post, I am so sorry about your Mom, I often wonder how family members move past these terrible things, I am so glad to hear that you have reconnected with family and friends. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Terri

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  4. I am glad something positive can come out of tragedy. I am so sorry for your loss, and very happy for what you are getting back.

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  5. When we lose someone dear to us it opens our eyes to how short life really is . It can end so suddenly .
    It does make you want to make the most of your own life , and appreciate the rest of your loved ones . The grief is always in your heart ,but the love is there too.

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  6. I am so happy you are reconnecting with family....that is so wonderful and what a special way for the girls to see you grow. Out of something so senseless something good is happening.
    XO~Hope

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  7. Jen,
    I am so sorry about your mother, I read about your incredible loss last month. I am amazed by your strength and courage, and inspired by your ability to share your grief with us. Continued love, blessings and prayers for you and your family.
    Heidi

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  8. God bless you Jen. Losing your mom is so horrendous. I am glad that you have family and friends to help ease your grief. I am reminded to NOT take my family for granted.

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  9. Such a beautiful post Jen, so bittersweet. I'm so glad you are seeing and partaking of all the blessings in your ilfe! I know personally, that my life is going to be a lot more beautiful in 8 days. 8 days girl! What a time that will be.

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  10. So maybe some good will come out of something so horrible. I can't imagine your pain but I hope this will bring more love and happiness into your life in a different way.

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  11. My heart is full as I read this, Jen. I am so happy that you have rediscovered connections with loved ones that surely must help in youe healing process,

    xo
    Claudia

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  12. I was very moved by your blog. I just spent over an hour reading all past blogs and really feel I know you as much as someone can from blog reading. What a lovely person you are(as well as a writer) and I am glad you are my new friend. My last post was on losing my dog which I am sure can't compare. But it gives me a glimpse into your world right now. So I just wanted to say I'm sorry new friend, my heart is heavy for you.

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  13. A beautiful post. There are always blessings to be found in every situation. We just have to be open to them.

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  14. May the Love Continue to Pour in, As Your Heart Heals.....

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  15. 1 Corinthians 13:13
    And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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  16. What a great reminder, and that you can encourage us through such tough things that you have had to face. I am so glad that God is bringing good as you go through this time. Thanks for sharing your heart. Jackie

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  17. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear mother. Something makes me believe she has a loving hand in making these new connections possible. Knowing how lonely you would feel under the circumstances, she is willing these reconnections for you. May you continue to feel stronger every day...
    Maureen

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  18. Jen,
    I am so deeply sorry to hear about your beloved mother. I haven't been blog reading much this summer and just got caught up on your blog. It's true that something wonderful can always be born out of something painful and sad. Thank you for your beautiful, touching post, and for the reminder that life is so very fragile and precious.
    Hugs,
    Andrea

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  19. God is good to us.
    thank you for the reminder...
    glad you are able to reconnect to long lost family members. that is a true gift.

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  20. leaving you a fb message now....

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  21. All things work together for good to those who love God; to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
    I know it to be true. I prayed this several times a day when I lost our twin sons 26 years ago. God is good all the time , all the time God is good. Bless you.

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  22. Jen, you are blessed to find goodness from this tragedy. I'm so glad that you are receptive to those who want to love and comfort you! Hugs to you, Cheryl

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  23. Girl, I love the photo and I love every word and sentiment of this post. I'm so happy that you are being taken care of in brand-new ways. And I am so blessed to call you mine. :)

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  24. Jen, I've been out of the blog loop for some time and am just now catching up with your lovely blog.

    1st off, I am stunned and shocked for your horrific loss. 2nd it is good to hear that out of this you are having good surround you.

    Hugs to you and your family!
    Shelly

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  25. It was a year Aug. 26th since my mother passed away. It is so difficult. But I know what you mean, my brother and I, 10 years apart in age and never close before. Have a very different and close relationship now. I never could have imagined it.

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  26. thankful for your reconnecting with so many people in your life. thanks for sharing so much of yourself.

    sending hugs, always

    xo
    elyse

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  27. I know that you love and mourn the loss of your Mother but I feel that God has used this as an opportunity to reconnect you with people that might not otherwise have become a true part of your life. Hugs to you my sweet friend, as you walk this path. I know that there will be hard days that are filled with pain..but I am sensing that you are finding strength that you didn't know you had. - Diana

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  28. Sending you love and continued prayers." The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Your amazing words have been a powerful witness to so many.
    It is miraculous to hear your story and to hear your powerful love and trust in what God is doing for the good in unthinkable sorrow. Bless you and,
    Thank You

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  29. I'm glad that through this tragedy, you are reconnecting with old family and friends. (((HUGS)) to you!

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  30. Yes! I so wish I had the ability to reach my arms through this lap top screen, wrap them around you and give you a big hug. Life is a lesson. The lesson is the ability to give and receive love unconditionally. It's as easy and as complicated as that.

    Your Friend,
    Deborah

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  31. Jen, I was just thinking about you and wanting to let you know you are still in my prayers.

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  32. Jen, you are on my mind every.single.day! I can't even begin to imagine what hearing those words were like. But I AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR these wonderfully positive things are happening from this horrific event. You are CHOOSING JOY and I am SO proud of you my friend!!! I am honored to know such a great person! And I'm so happy I can follow along this journey with you :)
    xoxo
    Kristi

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  33. Oh Jen, my heart goes out to you.
    You are a brave, strong gal, and you most certainly have all my prayers for the days ahead.

    Love,
    Anne

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  34. Lovely, lovely post, Jen. Your perspective on life is always an inspiration to me. Choose Joy, right?

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  35. I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom..... Isn't it comforting to know that GOD knows our hearts and is there to help you heal....By reconnecting with your family and being by your side.

    Warm blessings,
    Spencer

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  36. Love and prayers to you on your journey. Your post is just what I needed today. Thank you for helping me to "choose JOY." I always feel better after a visit here.

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  37. It has been a long time since I have had the chance to sit and enjoy other blogs... I am just now learning about your Mothers death and I am so very saddened for you. I am so glad that out of the grief.. there is a sweetness ..
    hugs,

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  38. Sometimes it just takes one pebble to cast out ripples on the pond of life! So glad that something so tragic could result in something so wonderful for you!

    Kat :)

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  39. I've been wanting to let you know that I've been thinking of you and your family. This update is especially hopeful and I am so happy that some good has emerged for you.

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  40. Hello...
    Your post made me cry, it was beautiful... I too know how you are feeling, i recently lost both my parents 2 months apart, my mom was a complete shock, we had no idea, my father had been sick prior for 2 years... It has been the hardest thing in my life that i have had to deal with, but it also brought my brother and i very close, all we have is each other pretty much. It does get better,so glad you have reconnected with family and friends... Stay blessed..

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