July 24, 2012
Since we got home from vacation I have felt a need to keep things simple, to live smaller. I'm tired of to do lists so long that I feel like a failure at the end of the day, no matter how much I accomplish. I feel a need to focus on the people in my life that I care the most about and finding ways to show my love. This morning that meant fixing my sweetie a hearty breakfast at 4am before he left for another stressful day of providing for his family. Later today it will mean playing games with my girls and baking a Strawberry Rhubarb pie. Simple moments.
On this day, the second anniversary of the worst day of my life, I awoke at about the exact time the phone call came that day. I've had a lot of closure this past year but my emotional scars are still there. You don't lose your mother like that without scars. The fear. The pain. The sadness. They're all there. Just under the surface a bit. Still easily brought to the top. Today I will remember the woman that loved me the best she knew how and honor her by loving my family the best way I know how. Some days joy chooses you and some days you have to do the choosing.