July 24, 2012

Simple Joys


Since we got home from vacation I have felt a need to keep things simple, to live smaller. I'm tired of to do lists so long that I feel like a failure at the end of the day, no matter how much I accomplish. I feel a need to focus on the people in my life that I care the most about and finding ways to show my love. This morning that meant fixing my sweetie a hearty breakfast at 4am before he left for another stressful day of providing for his family. Later today it will mean playing games with my girls and baking a Strawberry Rhubarb pie. Simple moments.

On this day, the second anniversary of the worst day of my life, I awoke at about the exact time the phone call came that day. I've had a lot of closure this past year but my emotional scars are still there. You don't lose your mother like that without scars. The fear. The pain. The sadness. They're all there. Just under the surface a bit. Still easily brought to the top. Today I will remember the woman that loved me the best she knew how and honor her by loving my family the best way I know how. Some days joy chooses you and some days you have to do the choosing.

37 comments:

  1. Beautiful sentiments Jen! I admire your courage and strength so much and I'll be thinking about you today. Love you sis!

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  2. Jen, Thinking of you today. I liked what you said about loving your family as best you can. Smiles, Susie

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  3. Thinking of you today on this sad anniversary. I will not say I understand the horrible loss you suffered, but I can say that I understand the loss of someone you love. You honor your mother's memory so eloquently, my friend.

    xo
    Claudia

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  4. beautiful words jen. i admire your strength. i can't even image what you have gone through. i am thinking of you. simple joys can make our hearts dance even when they are heavy. i am glad you are choosing to focus on them. xo!!

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  5. I have goosebumps after reading the post of your mom's murder. Just awful when you think you may lose her due to poor health and then it comes suddenly for a whole other reason. I like what you said then ... losing so much is a reminder of what we have ... and what you've said now about choosing joy. Definitely something we have in common. Hugs and blessings for a beautiful day. Tammy

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  6. Jen, I remember the day I read that post two years ago. I was heart broken for you then and still am today. Your post today was beautiful and heartfelt. Hugs and prayers from one of your many cyber-friends.

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  7. Your mother raised a very compassionate and intelligent woman. I think this is exactly what she would want.
    Brenda

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  8. You are so beautiful, J. Do you know it? Are you feeling it? Praying for an extra measure of peace for you today, though it sounds like you're already half-way there.

    ps - This: "Today I will remember the woman that loved me the best she knew how and honor her by loving my family the best way I know how." So lovely.

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  9. A lovely post to honor your mother. Mother's never leave us. They remain in our hearts forever. Today, be especially good to yourself. Hugs! Bonnie

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  11. Thinking of you this day. Such an awful loss. Just remember your Mother for the happy, lovely person she was. That will keep your heart happy.

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  12. Oh you really moved me with this. Honey I lost my mom 10 years ago and it still kills me. THere is just no one that loves you like your mother. I pray you find some peace today and it really sounds like you are on the right track with keeping busy take care of your family. My kids pulled me through in so many ways. Take care.

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  13. wow, jen. please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today. lots of love to you this week.

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  14. Hello Jen:
    You sound so grounded and at peace with things...but I feel the deep ache...lost my own Mom 13 years ago, 2 years after my younger brother...but time does help ease the ache...but I have a new hope..We have a brand new granddaughter...Vivian Helena...it is just the best...

    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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  15. Even on this sad anniversary you are helping others because of the words you wrote today. I especially like.."Some days joy chooses you and some days you have to do the choosing."

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  16. Anniversaries of such life events are so difficult. We move forward one step at a time...
    Thinking of you today and sending hugs and a prayer for peace.

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  17. I remember those original posts and how my heart broke for yours. I have since lost my dad this spring and the ache of losing a parent is indescribable. It is so good to hear a peace in your voice and what a perfect way to honor her...to love on your family even more. Thinking of you today. Patty

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  18. A lovely post. You are a wise gal.

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  19. Thinking of you today. I can not think of a better way to honor your mom than this beautiful post.

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  20. So sad. She will be smiling knowing how much you cared for her and how you spend your time honoring her. ((((((HUGS)))))

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  21. Every time you post I think of you and your mother and hope each day is a little easier. I don't know the details but losing your mother is shocking enough, senselessly is worse. Living your life better because of it is something you seem to be doing so good for you.

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  22. I think living simpler and remembering your mother go hand in hand, the to do list is always going to be there, the people we love maybe not! I hope you're enjoying your day and summer! Sending good thoughts your way!!

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  23. I am crying I hate that you had to go through this that your Mother had to go through this I hate that u can relate more to the people in Aurora, Colorado than most of us can I hate this for u and all your family but I thank you for sharing it with us for digging it back out for sharing your love and honor and your memories in this I am seeing an example of strength and courage and reminders to look at my own life and take stock of what is really important. reminders that joy is a gift that we sometimes have to grab up and act as if it is already ours... Thank You
    Hugs RaNae

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  24. I love the simple moments spent with family. That time is the best. I love to do special things for them, too.
    Thinking of you and your sad anniversary.

    ~Shanon

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  25. I just read your post about what had happened. I am truly sorry. I am thinking of you today as well and having some simple pleasures sounds perfect. Take care.

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  26. Yes-I remember that day and mourn with you. I know you are a good Mom to your kids and that you love your hubby and the life you have now. God has been good and is easing your heart in many little ways. Blessings to you, Jen- xo Diana

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  27. Hi! I am thinking of you today. Hard day for you for sure. But I love the way you are going to spend it. Just perfect. Take care, Kit

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  28. I, too, remember reading your post about your mom 2 yrs ago... what you wrote today resonated deep within me... from the simple truth & choice of letting go of the long... the never ending todo list, intentionally seeking out special ways to love & be with your family, & your last 2 sentences... SOOO beautifully written. I have been on a healing journey with some loved ones in my life... changing perspective, accepting, & extending grace as I realize what you wrote so well... they have loved me the best they knew how... what a wonderful way to honor your mom.

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  29. I had no idea about your mom, Jen. Thinking of you and praying that those simple joys will provide a bit of comfort, that you can find peace and your heart grow restful.

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  30. i hear you on keeping things simple. lots of similar thoughts on my mind of late too.

    thinking of you and praying for you during this time...

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  31. So sorry this tragedy happened to you. What an unimaginable emotion you must feel as you ponder back on this very day. May you continue to find the loveliness in each day and keep the legacy of your strong & precious mother alive. Thank you for sharing her legacy with us~ Ivy Jane

    http://alovelyvintagelife.blogspot.com/

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  32. Oh, Jen, I am so sorry for your pain and the circumstances that brought it to you. You are a living testimony to your Mother's love and I know that she is always in your heart. Losing your Mother is one of those things in life you never really get over, but the way you are turning your life into a positive example of what she stood for helps to ease the pain. Much love to you. xx

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  33. I missed this post somehow. I don't know what it is like to lose your mother - yet. But I can only imagine. Wonderful that you have great memories, and that time does heal us somewhat.

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  34. Oh, Jen. I just read this. I'm so sorry. I remember. Hold your wonderful memories close like a colorful quilt to wrap around you. Thinking of you. xo, Cheryl

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  35. so sorry for your terrible loss. this post was really beautiful and inspiring. blessings to you.

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