January 15, 2019

New Beginnings

This amazing thing happens when you put into words what you want in your life, and send it out into the world. I believe it's called the Law of Attraction and I am quickly becoming a believer. I can think of 3 specific times in the last couple of years when I did that very thing and was rewarded for it.

It is no secret that I have had a rough few years. Life is like that...a roller coaster ride that sometimes has us hands in the air, mouth wide open and screaming with excitement at each jolt and bump. Or a ride that has our heads spinning, while clutching our stomachs and hanging on for dear life. The amazing thing about life is that the deep down ugly, hard parts give us a true appreciation for the good parts. I'm going to say something shocking here...I'm glad I had cancer. Now, don't get me wrong, it would be awesome if none of our lives were ever touched by that particular beast and my deepest wish is that I don't have to go through it again and that none of the people I care about or you care about would have to go through it. However, it changed me in ways that are important and good. All the scars I have accumulated in my life have led up to this moment and this person that I have grown into. And I like me. No I LOVE me. I have not always, so this feels important. I am deeply grateful for everything I have and that I am. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin and I have a true understanding of what's important in my life.

I have declared 2019 my year. It feels different. I feel different. I am making myself a priority this year. This doesn't mean that I'm selfish. Or maybe it does. I guess it depends on your definition. I believe there is nothing wrong with choosing to give yourself the same kind of care you give others. I am just now catching onto that and understand completely if you aren't there yet but I implore you to consider the idea. Without guilt. There is nothing wrong with speaking up and saying what you want and need rather than demurring to the wants of those around you.

I decided as a way to kick off this very important year, that I would redo the studio and give myself a space that encouraged creativity with a more peaceful environment because my middle aged brain gets overwhelmed and overstimulated and then shuts down. I am lucky to be married to a supportive guy who is encouraging me on my journey and who even pitched in to help by rebuilding my sewing table! I announced that I was going to spend the first day of the new year here as a way to honor what I want this year to be (more on that later) and that was exactly what I did. It felt so right. The project isn't quite finished, but I look forward to sharing it with you soon. I have a few more odds and ends to take care of, particularly I need to make amends with my curtain fabric.

While 2019 is my year, I am happy to share it with each of you! Put into words what it is you want, heck even leave it in the comments, and remember that you are the boss of your life. Then act like it. ;)

December 27, 2018

Dream Dreaming

Hello dear friends. I am currently cuddled into my favorite corner of the studio, in my coziest grey sweater, my little fireplace lit up, a candle burning and my knitting right beside me. I am alone in the house, the dog and cat are napping, it's raining outside which makes me happy, even though I wish it was snow. It was my intention to sit and knit and watch something cozy but I felt an overwhelming desire to stop in here for a visit first.

While the house is peaceful, my mind is anything but, although rest assured it is for the very best of reasons. I have so many plans flittering about in that place that I can scarcely concentrate on a single thing for more than a few minutes. So many plans and ideas and inspiration and dreaming so many dreams (more on those later) that several times I have put my hands on either side of my head and told myself "SETTLE DOWN!". It doesn't seem to work. I try to talk and I'm sure my conversation is disjointed and I know I'm all over the place because Maddie commented the other day that I was squirrelly-ier than usual. So I try not to talk too much so as not to exhaust those around me but chances are the quieter I am, the busier my mind is. One of the many "perks" of being me. When my mind finally does settle down, I pretty much just slump to the side and fall asleep.

I've decided to start off my new year with a freshened up studio space. I'm very much craving some change here and have been for quite awhile. Now seems like the absolute right time. I know from personal experience that people will have opinions about changes to my house which is sweet but can also sometimes make me delay following through because I will think about how much other people love it just the way it is. But I've got to be me, so me, I shall be. I believe in following my heart and my crazy ideas, which after all led me to this very place in this life that I love. We have now lived in this house longer than I have ever lived any place in my entire life. Isn't that incredible? How can almost 8 years break the record? It will feel good to introduce a little change and start to acclimate to a year that will be full of it. I am throwing my arms wide open and welcoming it!

This post is my little love note to a studio that has inspired me and been my haven for the better part of the last decade. Now I will start to say my goodbyes to the old and begin moving towards the future. The paint has been chosen, fabric ordered, ideas hatched, dreams dreamed (dreamt?), lists made and it is all subject to shift and change as I go along until it ends up just as it should be.

I have spent many a New Year's Eve feeling fearful of what the next year might bring, of being overwhelmed by the unknown. It feels different this year. It feels a little...delicious.

I hope you all are enjoying this in-between time and are finding time to curl up and spend some time dreaming your dreams.