Thanksgiving- But Not Quite

Although we aren’t technically celebrating Thankgiving in our house until Friday, I still spent most of the day in here. I am forever thankful for this kitchen and count my blessings every day for it. I still walk in here and can’t believe it’s mine. 

But today, as I always do on Thanksgiving, I thought a lot about all the celebrations that came before it. The holidays spent cooking in a nonfunctioning kitchen with ancient tile counters, peeling permanently dirty linoleum floors, a terrible layout, little workspace and homemade plywood cabinets. But also surrounded by good food, people and laughter.

While this Thanksgiving the kitchen might look prettier and be considerably easier to cook in, the others were no less valuable. So whether you are working in a space that is your dream come true, a shambles or somewhere in between, I hope you are surrounded by people you love. And just for fun, here’s a look back at where we started and then how we made do for many years until we were finally able to renovate.

Where the Heart Is

Home. There are few things more important to many of us and I certainly claim that to be true for me. I grew up poor and without much stability. We moved a lot and I rarely felt a sense of belonging or of being rooted to a place. At different times while growing up, I have lived in a trailer, a motel, an uncle's basement, several times with my grandparents, rental homes and once an apartment in an area so bad that I feared for my safety just helping my mom bring the groceries in from the car.

All of this to say that maybe my longing for security, home, community and roots has had more of an impact on my life and choices than any other single thing. Also, I tell you this to illustrate that I never in my life imagined having a home quite like the one I'm moving back into in less than 4 weeks. I mean, it's not grand, it's still just my sweet little cottage, but every corner of the house and every inch of the garden has been considered, given attention and love and made into what is our particular idea of a dream home. And to us, it is indeed the most grand thing in the world and the place where we feel we belong and are rooted in. 

We have spent a lot of years doing without, working to pay off any debt and sacrificing to get to this moment. I spent 11 years with a kitchen that had handmade, 40 year old plywood cabinets, drawers that would barely open, little storage and tile counters that qualified as a science experiment. Throughout the house we had linoleum floors that had no seal and could not be kept clean, cracking drywall and ceilings, hideous tile, surfaces that were decades past their prime, space that was not well planned and general jack-assery every where we looked. The 2nd floor was added in the early 90's we believe and the integrity of that project is...questionable. We could have done a different kind of renovation many years ago but I am a pretty patient gal and I'm always willing to wait for what I really want and I absolutely HATE spending money twice. So we waited and made the most of what we had with our resources and created a home we loved while we planned and dreamed about renovating "next year" while one thing after another intervened with the dreams until finally we found ourselves ready. Then we had to wait yet another year for the contractor I was set on using, to be available. But finally here we are...nearly to the finish line.

We have invested no small amount of money over the years improving the house in the ways we could- a lot of time having to spend money that wasn't "pretty": new roof, gutters, hvac, sewer lines etc, some pretty money too of course: landscaping, opening up the front porch, a make do kitchen makeover etc. 

But one day we just got tired of picking away at it and we just wanted to be done and to spend the next chapter of our life enjoying our home and doing the fun decorating projects. And we've had a couple of reminders over the last several years that the future isn't guaranteed and sometimes you need to stop postponing for later and live for now. We decided to just rip the bandaid off and be done. This renovation snowballed a bit, of course things came up that we hadn't planned on- the house was built in 1900 so it was to be expected!

We are moving back into a home that at once is very different than the one we left, but is also much the same. Her spirit remains unchanged. We have worked hard to add back in the charm where it had been removed and to make choices that are appropriate for the age and style of the cottage. We have gutted the kitchen and dining room, the mudroom has been transformed into a Butler's Pantry/Bootroom, the fireplace has been refaced, every last piece of trim in the house has been replaced (and mostly by my guy!), The main floor bathroom has been completely redone down to the subfloor, the master bedroom and bath have been reconfigured to close the bath completely off from the bedroom, give us a giant shower, two (!) sinks, and each of us a small closet, the laundry area has been ripped out and a fresh clean slate provided. The entire downstairs received new hardwood flooring and the entire upstairs floors are getting refinished. We have added new windows in the kitchen and main floor bath as well as new french doors in the dining room and a new exterior door in the Butler's Pantry. Almost every wall, ceiling, door and piece of trim got new paint and on top of that we have added lots of insulation, shored up the structure with new beams etc., replaced plumbing, wiring, dryer vent, added attic access, insulation, drywall, beams to shore up the foundation and another new HVAC system for the downstairs. 

We have worked at the house almost every weekend for the last nearly 5 months. There have been times that the process felt unbearable. Being away from the house and the Village and our lives was hard. Watching the house get torn apart and stay that way for months on end with no pretty progress and bad news after bad news was hard. But then one day the tide turned. Pretty things started to happen, the momentum kept us going and made it easier to pay a mortgage and rent every month. The sleepless nights, never ending to do lists and constant level of stress were starting to pay off. We have poured our energy, money, heart and soul into this house and while we are exhausted from this year, more than anything we are so happy and proud of what we have accomplished and so beyond excited to get back into our home and get back to living our small, cozy, lovely life. We have absolutely no regrets and I know I will sleep better knowing that we have made our house as safe and stable as possible.

I wish I had been around here more but I have been doggy paddling to keep my head above water. I look forward to sharing more of the design after we get moved in. I am gratified to see it coming together the way I envisioned. Every single decision was tirelessly researched and chosen for a reason and while I made myself crazy (and probably those around me as well), I am so happy with how it is turning out-a dream that exceeds those of my childhood and a home where I can spend the rest of my life making the people I care about feel loved.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

(Blue grey sample minus black glazing for mudroom tall cabinet, warm white cabinetry for the rest of mudroom and all of kitchen. Handmade ceramic sconces with antique brass fixtures for flanking stove and small metal circle Ilve stove sample)

I was going to say that I don't know where that 2 months went but I know exactly where it went. It went to planning, designing, sourcing, researching, choosing and ordering for the renovations. It went to sorting, packing, storing and moving our possessions- although the movers come Saturday for the big furniture. It went to the roller coaster and ups and downs that comprise life- the beautiful and the devastating hitting our circle of people and showing up where we can to do what we're able.

I am so close to being able to catch my breath again, to have time for yoga, tending to myself, making pretty things, reading, leisure time- all things in short supply since the beginning of the year. Things currently NOT in short supply: stress eating, eye twitches, general brain fog and forgetfulness, ocular migraines, irritation at people not doing their jobs, stiff hips, shoulder and neck tension.

(Kitchen cabinetry, stove sample, stove lighting, high gloss, irregular crackle Cafe subway by Walker Zanger, black sample representing Island lighting)

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about our renovations and why we’re moving. We will be moving out for about 6 months. We are renovating the kitchen, dining room, mudroom, main floor bathroom, master bedroom and bathroom. We will be refinishing the hardwoods upstairs and replacing the hardwood downstairs. We will be replacing trim throughout almost the entire house plus adding wainscoting and tongue and groove in areas and almost the entire house will be repainted. We are replacing the French doors in the dining room, the mudroom door and the kitchen windows. 

(Close up Walker Zanger Cafe tile in Milk)

Additionally we are doing built ins at the top of the stairs, replacing Emma’s shower and redoing our laundry area ourselves but those things may wait until after we move back in because my fella is doing almost all of the trim work, and all of the wall millwork. He’s gotten a good start for the last month or so but there is so much left to do. 

(Danby marble Imperial Select for kitchen and if there is enough leftover master and or main floor bathroom)

So you can see this is a pretty extensive project. We are working hard to stay true to the house and bring back the charm that has been stripped from it. We are moving some walls but not changing the footprint and we are not opening the space up. Some people might think it’s nuts to spend this kind of money and not increase square footage but for us this is about quality, function and beauty not square footage. Less but better is my motto.

(Master bathroom large charcoal tile for floor, warm white cabinetry, polished nickel fixtures, wood frame mirrors, antique brass sample for vanity lights and hardware, patchwork tile for shower floor and matte white large subway tile for shower walls)

And while a lot of you don't understand why we're doing this, let me explain what we've lived with since we moved in...the kitchen cabinets are few in number and homemade plywood cabinets that saw their best day 40 years ago (if ever) and aren't fit for holding more than the trash and recycling, the linoleum floors are patched, lost their protective coat well before our time and are IMPOSSIBLE to clean and they are linoleum, the kitchen counters are tile some of which is cracked, missing grout and is basically a science experiment that I wouldn't dream of setting utensil or food on. When preparing a meal, my work triangle is basically the kitchen, corner cabinets in the dining room and cabinets in the mudroom. Not even the slightest bit functional. The only decent things about the kitchen are the updates we did 10 years ago which you can see here. This was always meant to be a temporary solution. 

(Main floor bathroom: new shower curtain, bamboo hooks, oatmeal gloss subway tile for tub alcove and entry dresser that will be repurposed as a vanity but topped with marble)

And the bathrooms, well lets just say they aren't any better than the kitchen and haven't been touched at all. So obviously we are so excited to have clean, functioning, beautiful spaces that are a pleasure to spend time in. 

(Main floor bath with light fixtures that will flank existing mirror)

We've patiently (mostly) waited 11 years and sacrificed to get here so that we could do it exactly the way we want. Unfortunately with the constant rising of costs, we have had to shift some work to do later and are doing some things ourselves to balance the budget but also to make sure I can get the finishes I have been dreaming about for years in the areas that matter the most. 

So you see why it’s important to move out during this process ...with a hubby that works from home, two cats, an anxious dog and me who hates chaos and noise, there really wasn’t another choice although it's another cost that had to be figured in. 

 I'm really looking forward to documenting the process here so that we can look back on it in the years to come and because people say we won't even remember what the old kitchen looked or felt like. After 11 years I find that hard to believe but I look forward to that day!

In Like a Lion

 

If you had asked, I would have said that I hoped 2022 would feel like riding the train around the grounds of the zoo- calm, pretty things to look at- lovely and predictable. Well, in fact the reality of 2022 so far has been a madcap, hang on by the seat of my pants, at turns terrifying, exciting and stomach churning roller coaster. I'm not sure I'd recommend it. The world is in chaos, my home is in chaos, my mind steadily veers in that direction too.

The last week has brought great swells of anxiety, where world, home and life challenges collide. The renovation is all encompassing at this point. As soon as I get one thing marked off the list, something else gets added. I know this is the hard stage and when the actual work begins this part will be behind me. 

For now I balance gratitude for finally being in this place, with hand wringing, deep sighs and an overloaded circuit system. And I survive it all by taking walks around the Village, sitting in quiet, cat in lap, knitting at the ready (only the simplest of patterns), tea at hand, husband nearby ready to cuddle. 

In the last week we were able to mark off the list: hardwood, plumbing fixtures, finding a rental (huge!!), initial meeting with the marble fabricator, new french doors for the dining room, exterior door for the mudroom, casement window for the kitchen, some tile decisions and I got lighting ordered for over the island which was a weeks long ordeal because of our extremely low (not even 8 feet) ceilings. 

And if that wasn't enough to fill my plate, I added in a day trip on Friday that was house related and one on Saturday that was Emma related. She made a quilt last semester (all from fabrics she hand dyed herself with natural materials) in her Fibers II class and it was on display in an Historic house near her school. Why do they always say "an historic" I wonder?

Now we have some budget challenges to figure out because lucky us for finally being able to do renovations during a time when the cost of absolutely everything is skyrocketing. Hard decisions are being made about dining room built-ins, hardwood flooring for the lower level (the current floor is too thin to be refinished again) and millwork. Creativity is being triggered. Ingenuity is being called into action. 

We are trying to make budget friendly choices in some areas and take on some of the work ourselves. We will see where we end up. I'm trying not to make every aspect of the project SO important while also getting what I truly want. The contractor was surprised how well I took the news of the climbing budget. But I'm used to limits and budgets. I've lived my whole life with them. It doesn't phase me much.

Next up I need to make more lighting and tile decisions and go visit some marble slabs. That is a moment I have been dreaming about since I bought my first house at 21. Aside from the tile counters with science experiment worthy grout that I have now, I have only ever had formica counters. What a dream come true marble will be. I even look forward to the unavoidable character that they will acquire.

I'm closing in on finishing the hard parts. Then I just have to pack up the house and darn it I just realized I need to add find mover to the list. Sigh. And so it continues. 

And while March came in like a lion, as she is want to do, I do so hope she will kindly and gently go out like a lamb. Maybe if we all join hands and wish it into existence, it will be so. The past few years have brought entirely too much lion for my liking. 

Stay the Course

This morning as I sat with my morning chai, tucked into my favorite corner of the world, I opened up pinterest to obsess over today's renovation to do list- namely, subway tile backsplash for the kitchen and bathroom tile designs. I have a lot of things on my checklist right now and have been feeling a little overwhelmed. Ok, a lot overwhelmed but also just so thankful to get to do this. There has also been some second guessing my choices as I work to stay true to my style, what I've always loved and not fall into the trend trap. Yesterday required me telling myself several times to "stay the course" and when I found out that our cabinetmaker sent our order to production there was great relief (and a tiny bit of anxiety) about that now being out of my hands.

So there I sat, ready to noodle through some choices when on the home page of my Pinterest feed is a white kitchen (of course) with a description that says "It's All White Now Momma" so obviously I clicked on it and it took me a minute to realize it was a link to a blog post that I wrote in 2010 with an ode to my love of the white kitchen and a description of what my dream kitchen would look like and I have to tell you...relief FLOODED through me because... that is the very kitchen I am designing! 

SERENDIPITY.  

I was struck by two things while reading that post- first, I am on the right path and these are things I have always loved and will always love- second, I have been waiting a very long time for this kitchen and while it hasn't always been easy to be patient as "we will do it next year" rolled over year, after year, it will be so worth it because I am getting exactly what I want and if we had done it before now I would have had to sacrifice parts of the dream list that are very important to me. 

The lessons here for me are: Patience pays off and block out the noise, rely on the design elements that have always made my heart sing and stay true to the house and to myself. There are always going to be people who don't approve because I didn't do...file in the blank- but this project is going to be uniquely me and that's just the way I like it. Nay sayers gonna nay. ;) 

So I thought I'd take a moment here to share some of my inspiration for the project before I share the layout and finishes we've chosen. This is just a small sample and just for the kitchen/dining/boot room part of the project which all tie in together and which make up the bulk of our project and budget. All of these photos are from Pinterest and you can follow my Village Renovation 2022 board over there for more if you're interested. 

I'm waiting to hear back from the contractor now that our cabinet order is in. There is a 20 week lead time so that information will allow her to work backwards to form a schedule. As soon as I get that I should probably find us a place to live as well as choose and order tile, light fixtures, plumbing fixtures, flooring, doors, windows...

STAY THE COURSE