Autumn's Arrival

 

Right on cue, autumn arrived today. It is one of those impossibly beautiful, perfectly seasonally appropriate days. The temperature is 54 degrees, the rain has steadily fallen all day and time is passing so slowly that I find myself constantly amazed that it's not later in the day. I could happily relive this day over and over.

The wind whistles and gusts, rattling the studio window screens, autumn music plays in the other room, cozy lamps light dark corners of the house, a candle flickers in an amber jar. I wear the softest clothes in my wardrobe, all in shades of grey except for my hand knit socks taking their maiden voyage on the freshly washed hardwood floors. The house is tidy and my to do list is forgotten. My focus is on the things that give me pleasure: knitting, reading, stitching and staring out the window feeling like the luckiest girl that ever lived. 

He comes downstairs and asks me to join him for lunch. Afterwards we curl up on the sofa together, intertwined in that way our bodies do without thought. We fit perfectly. We snuggle in and set the alarm for 20 minutes. He drifts, I rest and smile. He wakes up and kisses me and drifts again. We reset the alarm- 5 more minutes. I try to remember what my days were like before he started working from home. I lay there completely content, sure I have never been this happy in my entire life. 

He heads back upstairs, I head back to the studio, after all it is Sacred Day. I'm surrounded by beautiful messes. I stitch and think. I daydream about the cozy months to come. There is tea and sourdough toast smeared with dark chocolate. I knit. I try on my sweater. I look at the clock again, I smile. I whisper thank you to the universe.

This is the kind of day I want to memorize-close my eyes and commit the feeling of it to memory- imprint it on my brain so I can recall it at will when I am in need of the comfort of it. I hope that day never comes. I hope I will be this happy til the end of my days.

Sacred Gifts

About 5 months ago I started claiming one day a week for myself. What started off as an experiment to claim some me time, ended up being one of the top 5 things I've ever done. I thought I'd share a glimpse of last week's sacred day with you.

Lately, I always start with froth piggery topped chai and a chocolate croissant. I've been making Emma a chocolate croissant every Monday morning for years but almost never allowed myself the pleasure. I recently realized how ridiculous that is so I happily savor one every Wednesday morning.

Often I spend the first part of the day with a cat in my lap, my knitting and a podcast. There is no comfort quite like the comfort of holding wool in your hands with a furry friend to keep you company.

After awhile I make my way into the studio although there are no rules for this day. I give myself the freedom to do whatever I am inspired to do-knitting, sewing, reading, embroidery, drawing- it all makes me happy.

Today there were hats in need of pom poms, yarn pairings to try and future knitting projects to noodle through.

There was also yarn to cake. If you have never wound hanks of yarn into a cake you are missing out on one of life's great gifts. There is no one in this house that doesn't enjoy the process.

I could probably spend hours in here trying different combinations of yarn together. If feeds my love of color in big ways. I mean, just look at this yarn destined to be a pair of Valentine's Day inspired socks.

This particular day had me organizing and dreaming about some changes in the studio. Somehow work in the studio never feels like work. Probably because it's pretty work.

I've been struggling with storage and with having no place to cut fabric. I'm pretty sure if I didn't have to cut fabric out on the floor, I'd enjoy sewing a lot more. Luckily after weeks of searching and not finding the right thing, my Sweet Man offered to build me what I need. Well, by offered I mean he was unable to resist my charm when I begged him.

So this beautiful closet he built me is about to see some big changes and I'm sorting through every corner while I (try to) patiently wait.

Once I wander into the studio, I find it hard to leave again. I usually eat my lunch in this spot and would probably stay here for dinner too if I could. Often my guy gets us takeout on Wednesday so I at least don't have to worry about making anything.

The time in here goes much too quickly and the end of the day is upon me much too soon. I spend some time organizing my knitting journal, reading and end the day much in the same way I started it- more tea and a little sweet treat. I was lucky this day and my Sweet Man picked Emmy up from school so I could get some extra time in here.

Some of the many lessons I've learned from my Sacred Days:
-It's okay to put yourself first sometimes,you actually need it for a healthy attitude.
-If I honor myself in this way, my family will follow suit. Everyone in my family knows you don't mess with Sacred Day.
-I have learned that when I open myself up to creativity and give myself the time to think, dream and make, that I will be so filled with inspiration that I can't wait to get up in the mornings and make something.
-Only you can make you a priority.
-When you are feeling like you have nothing left in the tank because you give everything you have to everyone else, you have got to find a way to claim something for yourself. It is the best gift you can give yourself and in turn is actually a gift you are giving to your family because they have a healthier, happier you.

Let me just add that I am very fortunate to be able to hold sacred, what is essentially 6 or 7 hours a week just for me, during this season of my life. Maybe you are in a different season, have a different schedule or different needs. My point is, find some time just for you, with NO guilt and honor the fact that you deserve it and are worth it.

The Quiet Life

Life has been fairly quiet lately, by choice, and I have found myself introverting on a larger than usual scale. I think it is due, in large part, to the ugliness and negativity in the world. I also know from experience that part of it is the change of seasons which always bring on a need to quiet the noise around me. This year there is an additional reason.

I am in the midst of the most creative season of my life. I'm not really sure where it came from. There aren't enough hours in the day to get all of the creative ideas I have in my head finished, and because of that I find it incredibly difficult to tear myself away. It is at once an overwhelming and exciting experience. I told my Sweet Man that I think this might be my midlife crisis. How lucky is he? I feel like I am having an affair with creativity! The most fallout there might be from this crisis is a surplus of pretty things around the house and possibly less cooking and cleaning going on. I'm pretty sure he can live with that and maybe even be better off for it.

The down side to this creative fire is that I have a hard time shutting it down for the day. The up side is that most nights feel like Christmas eve to me and I can't wait to go to sleep so I can hurry up and wake up and start creating again. I find that I'm pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and tackling things that I've been afraid to tackle before like sewing zippers, learning crochet and knitting socks.

ALL the socks. I'm obsessed. It seems a very odd thing to be obsessed with. Like 40 is the new 70. I just wish there were more hours in the day and also that I had an extra set of hands. It's all consuming for me right now and I've just decided to give into it. I'm really enjoying this place just out of reach of my comfort zone and I love the satisfaction and pride that comes with pushing through obstacles and teaching myself a new skill. It feels like a gift I am giving myself, and one that was very needed right now.

Actually now that I think about it, I'm sure this must all stem from giving myself the gift of my Sacred Day. Of course! I'm not sure why that didn't occur to me before. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Preserving that time for myself has given me permission to open myself up to all of the ideas and apparently they were just looking for an opening. I'm so thankful for this particular season.

Sacred Days

Recently I told you about my plan to claim one day a week as my Sacred Day, to guard this day fiercely as something just for me. Well, it seems this may have been one of the most brilliant things I've ever done for myself. I have claimed Wednesdays as my day, going so far as to block it off in my calendar. You can probably guess how much I look forward to this day.

I thought I'd share a bit about what this day looked like for me yesterday. They aren't all the same but this one is pretty representative of them. I am home from the carpool run by 8am, fix myself a nice breakfast (sautéed veg topped with an egg) to fuel my creativity, put on a little makeup, fix myself a chai latte and head to the studio.

I light a candle and use my sound machine app to play a thunderstorm through my bluetooth player. If the weather outside won't cooperate, I will create my own, after all, this is the room most conducive to using your imagination. I put on a favorite playlist and spend some time book flipping while I plan a couple of sewing projects, before moving on to some doodling.

Next there is a little "rustic" papier mache bird painting. And repainting. There is no good or bad here. Just permission to play and see what happens. No fear of failure. It's all important. I give myself permission to not always love the final product but to always love the the process.

A quick lunch of reheated leftovers (a stuffed pepper), eaten in the studio while I watch some videos and practice my hand at more drawing. The time is racing by and I can't believe it's already after 2. I take a break to do some yoga on my mat right in front of this table, before hopping in the car to sit in the carpool line.

Really, the entire day centers around being in this room. On this day anyway. Maybe next Wednesday will feel different and I will need something else. But probably not. I'm back home by 3:30 and apparently not quite ready to give up this time even though my Sweet Man is already home from work. I figure since he is on a conference call it is a good excuse to push on although that's all me and my girl guilt needing to justify this time for me since I know he would encourage me to stay in here as long as I wanted. I'm slowly chipping away at that guilt thing but I have in no way mastered it.

I decide to work on my Visual Journal which is really just a grown up way of doing a favorite kindergarten past time. I mean, I'm not the only one that never outgrew scissor and glue playtime, right? I get so caught up in the colors and patterns that I don't even realize it's almost 6pm and I haven't even started dinner! Time passes so differently when I am in the studio. I was honestly baffled and a bit startled to realize how late it was but my lovely family doesn't even say a word. To be honest, it has become our practice on Wednesday for my guy to bring home takeout for dinner. Bless that man for always being so supportive. He's a smart guy because he instinctively knows what I am just figuring out, that if I give myself this gift of time and space, it pays off in a a big way for the rest of my family in a happy, fulfilled Momma. Of course the thankful, loving texts he invariably receives from me on Sacred Day, probably don't hurt!

Here's the thing about Sacred Day...it doesn't have to be every week. It doesn't even have to be an entire day. Your day doesn't have to look anything like mine, in fact it shouldn't! What rejuvenates your spirit is likely different than what rejuvenates mine. I would encourage you to look at your schedule and find a day or an afternoon that you can claim for your own. Find a babysitter, send your husband and kids to lunch and a movie, schedule a vacation day from work or even better yet CALL IN SICK because taking care of ourselves is a kind of wellness practice and one that we should all make a priority.