September 01, 2017

Turning the Page


Today is a brand new day. It is a day full of promise and hope, strength and optimism. I am filled with the joy of new starts, new seasons, new chapters. That all of this should happen at the beginning of autumn seems fitting.


I woke up this morning to a chill in the air, cool breezes and a refreshed spirit. I have Vivaldi's Seasons playing on a loop (for some reason it is my autumn anthem), I am wearing a cozy sweater, hand knit socks, burning a special chai scented candle that I've been saving for this day and my tea is slowly steeping. I have big plans to spend the day doing more sorting and organizing in my studio so that my creative spirit can be as invigorated as the rest of me feels. I have a big date with a hot guy tonight and we are even doing the unthinkable and leaving the Village for dinner.


It has been five months since I was excited to begin a new month. If I had known then what would be required of me to get to the other side, I'm not sure I'd have thought I could survive. But that's life really, isn't it? We never know what's just around the bend, just as we never really know our strength and ability to bear it. But now I think I do in fact know, I'm starting to get an inkling of just what I'm made of and it's empowering.


Today I am excited to close that chapter and begin this new one and while I'm happy to move on there are lessons I'm taking forward with me as they are too important to leave behind. I am not the same person I was. I fought that for awhile. I remember weeping into my man's chest as he held me and saying I didn't want this to change me. At the time my only thought was that this might make me sad, bitter or fearful. That now seems so silly to me as I now know there was something better waiting for me. I feel none of those things I had feared but instead feel an even deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation and I have finally waved goodbye to my lifelong friend, fear. I'm as astounded as anyone and I do so hope that is a friendship that will never be rekindled.


I am now cancer free. My surgeries are all done. My pathology reports were great. I'm healing well, emotionally and physically. I have every intention of being on this earth so long that people get tired of me. For some people that has probably already happened. ;) I have every intention of living my life for today and not living my days in fear as that serves no purpose. I have every intention of remembering every day what is important in life and it is not having the cleanest house, the most impressive things, Instagram perfect lives, followers, the biggest bank account or thigh gaps. For me the important things are my people, life experiences, creativity and home.  May I always remember these lessons.


So now I make plans, throwing caution to the wind, dreaming of a lifetime of new adventures with an unbridled excitement for today and the days to come.


39 comments:

  1. Beautifully written. I love your perspective on life. I have been slowly shifting mine as well. It's so much more peaceful. Have a wonderful September!!

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  2. Beautiful words, photos, and intentions. May it be so for all of us who made friends with fear!

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  3. Oh Jen, it's so wonderful to read this beautifully upbeat post from you today! And I'm so very relieved that all has gone well with your big C treatment!!! Enjoy throwing caution to the wind & embrace the new adventures that are awaiting! Anna xx

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  4. Jen, congratulations on your good health report. Your words are so poignant , and a lesson for all of us. may we embrace the joy and beauty in our lives without worry or fear (and waste no time thinking about thigh gaps!)
    Best wishes to you!!!!
    Tracy

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  5. Yay for your good health report! Love to see this post from you. Have a wonderful date with your wonderful big guy tonight!

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  6. Beautiful. So glad for your good health report. Enjoy your day in the studio and your date night.

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  7. Indeed, I always feel like a new month is a brand new start in so many ways. Sending light and love and blessings for continued health and wellness.

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  8. You made me cry! Your words were so well said and so perfect! You put into words what I have felt. And to know that you feel like that too, makes my heart swell. You are on to bigger and better things and yes it has changed you, but it changed you into someone even more incredible. :) Kit

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  9. I love everything about you. Your words, just you. I loved what you shared, what a powerful lesson, overcoming fear. My hat is off to you, my dear. I also chuckled that you are leaving the city for dinner! 😁

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  10. Jen I'm so glad to know you are cancer free, what a scare you had! Beautiful post, my friend, I always leave here feeling a sense of peace. xo

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  11. I am so happy you are cancer free and doing so well. How could anyone be tired of you being here on Earth?! You seem like such a wonderful caring person who shares the good and bad parts of your life with total strangers. Thank you!

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  12. Oh, such wonderful news you've shared today. I look forward to whatever you might share here in the future. Wishing you a splendid September!

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  13. I am so happy to hear that you are now cancer free an that you are moving forward.

    Have fun with your plans.

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  14. Your words have touched me in so many ways. I'm absolutely, incredibly happy, that you are cancer free. You fought the hard fight and I can feel the strength in your words. It is not called a battle for nothing. Cancer survivors are not called heroes for nothing.

    You have a great awareness for knowing where you come from and where you are going. Your words uplifted me as I, too, am coming from a place of fear that has held me back from a life so worth living. It is truly amazing and liberating to face fear, push through it and finding that it has done nothing but held us back from our dreams and living life to the fullest. For me at least.

    Sending love to you, Jen, and your remarkable family. I hope you find more time to post as your calendar stays a little less hectic. Selfish of me...I simply adore your writing and how I identify.

    Again, so happy you have made it through.

    Jane x

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  15. What a wonderful post, with the best news. Prayers answered! I'm inspired to live by your words and cherish each day fully.

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  16. What a Beautiful post you have shared with us today.. the best news ever I am so happy you are cancer free x x enjoy your date night x x Blessings May x x

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  17. This is such a lovely, uplifting post. I'm happy you're cancer-free, and your attitude is contagious. You've made me excited about September and possibilities!

    I hope you had fun on your date. Enjoy this Labor Day weekend!

    xo,
    Ricki Jill

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  18. A am so happy to hear of your good health report! This is a beautiful and thought provoking post.

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  19. So beautiful... and such happy, happy news

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  20. Beautifully written and very moving to read. I'm so pleased for you and your family.

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  21. So pleased to read this!
    A big hug and kiss!
    Helena

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  22. Your an inspiration ! Keep the vibe going,you got this. Love to get posts from you.

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  23. So glad to hear your good news. And you certainly sound like and strong and powerful woman with a lot to share and give. Congratulations! And may God bless every day of your future.

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  24. I'm so happy to hear your news! I've thought about you often. I said goodbye to fear after I left Texas. I didn't know what strength I had in me. Think is, we have to wade through to get to the other side. Until we're there, we just don't know what we're made of. Now that you've figured that all it, life will be easier my blogging friend! And we now see every day as its very own chapter.
    Brenda

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  25. This is such wonderful news, Jen! I'm so happy you've found your way through the dark days and you're embracing all the positive changes in your life . I hope you had a great date night and I look forward to seeing your creative endeavors in weeks and months to come. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Vickie

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  26. The other side of those months of chaos is such a beautiful place to be!

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  27. I am thrilled to pieces on the news in this post. I have dearly missed you and your posts of your goings on. An extra warm long hug being sent your way.
    Patty (a long time reader, first time commenting, but I was praying for your good health to return)

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  28. This is such lovely news. Super happy to know that your have healed and may God always bless you and keep you healthy and strong.. Love and hugs.

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  29. I have been popping in from time to time to see if you had posted any news. Thanks for sharing with us your good news. Enjoy every day - its a gift from God! After I retired, I started to stop and smell the roses and just enjoy the simple things of life. Its a wonderful feeling and may you enjoy the same. Sending you ((((((hugs))))). Enjoy your date with your husband.

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  30. So glad to hear the great news! Your words are helping me get through some life changes of my own. Fear, you are so right on that topic. My mother's motto is "Faith, Not Fear". Thank you for your written words. You have touched me deeply.

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  31. Fantastic news on the health front and wonderful to read about getting back to luxurious creative and relaxing time. So glad you feel better!

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  32. I only just stumbled across your blog. That is the best news on the health front. If there is any season that I would call quintessentially America that is Autumn. So a good month for new beginnings. I love Autumn here in the USA, I'm in PA but born and bought up in UK. Fear paralyses you, but sometimes we have to go through that to come out the other side and we do come out changed, it can be a good change.

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  33. Hello, fellow cancer survivor. It sounds like your journey was longer than mine, so I admire your spirit. It does change how you think, doesn't it? Enjoy each day!

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  34. I' m so glad to hear you are cancer free after your treatments.
    I don't think fear really ever goes away though. Perhaps it's there in our recesses to make us always appreciate the wonder of life.
    I and many others can never say 'we're cancer free'. I have an incurable blood cancer and I can say without a doubt somewhere there is fear. Perhaps not this day but it is a reminder in our consciousness to be grateful for the time we have.

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  35. I'm a long time reader of your blog and I just want you to know that I am SO HAPPY for you today. Your beautiful words serve as a good reminder for me to also live my life with excitement for the day at hand. Thank you for sharing!

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  36. So very glad to read this post. You are a strong and brave woman. Enjoy life to the fullest now. :)

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Thank you for taking the time to say hello today! I always love to hear what you have to say.