June 29, 2018

What a Difference a Year Makes


Today is the one year anniversary of my double mastectomy. I can scarcely believe how quickly it passed. It's not something I dwell on, and I was kind of excited to get to this day and mark the occasion and then put it behind me. I woke up today surprised that I was feeling quite emotional about it all. I have teared up several times from the weight of all I'm feeling.


I'm not sure I have the capacity to explain it today, while it's still so raw. More than anything I feel deep gratitude, for my health, for modern medicine, for the journey and more than anything for the people who held my hand and were there for me in every way during that time, in particular my amazing friend T and my strong, tender, loving husband.


Aside from gratitude, I also feel strength like I've never known, and the knowledge that I can do hard things, and come out the other side better for it,  a comfort in my own skin that is completely new to me and a thankfulness for this imperfect body.


I've no desire to dwell in what was, either before my diagnosis or during the healing of my treatments. I've no desire to live my days in fear of what could be, although it is nearly impossible to not dip your toe in that pool occasionally. I'm living my life for today, at peace with what is and full of hope for what lies ahead.


I have all that I need to be happy in this life and I wake up and go to sleep every day, thankful for that.

18 comments:

  1. Jen,

    You continue to inspire me. I’m having a hard time putting my thoughts into words. You know I wish you all good things.

    Susan

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  2. Thinking of you and what a year you had. Thankful to be one of your internet friends. You're an inspiration.

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  3. May you find acceptance of your past and joy in your future. Survivors are not victims. They are heroes blessed by God and loved by family and friends.

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  4. You are a very strong, positive woman, Jen with a beautiful heart and spirit. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. xoxo

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  5. Just pop in to your blog and I am so amazed at your journey. I went through kidney cancer and I do not think I was 1/4 as brave as you. Your blog is so inspiring. So glad you get to celebrate this anniversay.

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  6. 10 years after I started following you, and you still continue to inspire and instill peace within me. Thank you and lots of love your way.

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  7. You express yourself in a quiet and eloquent way. You went through a game changer to say the least. You have had a lot of painful experiences but you have chosen to be positive and live in the moment, think ahead. You really are an inspiration to so many of us. Love ya, Jen!

    Jane x

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  8. Thank you for your inspirational post. You've been through so much yet your attitude is so positive and full of life.

    God's blessings on you ~ FlowerLady

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  9. So very privileged to be able to hold your hand. One day we will sit on my porch and drink a toast to all that's behind us, and then drink another toast to what's ahead. Can you drink and knit at the same time?

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  10. Great to know that your year has passed...well done you. You have proven that positive thinking is powerful and being surrounded by love is so supportive and healing. Thank you for sharing so honestly, hugs x

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  11. Thank you for sharing this update and for all the other posts about this life journey!

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  12. thankful, humbled, blessed to follow your journey forward.
    always remember that one need not be perfect to be beautiful. ♥♥♥

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  13. This is such an incredibly inspiring post. Thank you for your positive outlook and congrats, one year is a huge anniversary. Wishing you the very best.

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  14. Your post made me think of my own anniversary 5 years ago. And it makes me smile, and tear up a bit. All behind us now and such a great future ahead. Life, here we come! Love, Kit

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  15. I'm so glad that you are here to share your story with us. Much love.

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  16. You poor sweet thing, what you've been through....so glad you are here to write these lovely words a year later. xoxo

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Thank you for taking the time to say hello today! I always love to hear what you have to say.