It Begins

It begins with a plan, as most things do for me. In good times and in bad, it is what keeps me on the path. When the very worst of things have happened in my life, I take the time I need to process, even wallow a bit. Or a bunch. And then as if a light is switched on, I pull myself up by my bootstraps and come up with a plan. A way forward, a way to make lemonade from lemons, a way to not survive, but thrive. I have been told this is a by product of childhood trauma. Whatever it is, I am grateful for it. Not the trauma though, I’d happily give that back. 

About a month ago, I started thinking about a four year plan. A way to bring an extra dose of beauty to my life to counteract any anxiety. A search for peace, just in case I might need it. It turns out I need it very much. This might also resonate with you and if so I hope you will adapt it for your life whether it’s a four year plan, a just for today plan or an anything in between plan.

My four year plan to imbue my life with balance, beauty, peace and positivity:

-Keep my news intake minimal and from trusted non partisan sources.

-Do what I can to make even small changes in areas that are important to me. For instance, make the best choices I can to support our planet, volunteer time and/or money to causes I value and practice kindness in my community.

-Cultivate my already limited social media to offer inspiration and joy or cut out all together if it becomes necessary. Unfollow/mute, without guilt, any accounts that don't serve me. It's not you, it's me. But also, maybe it's you.

-Shop small and local whenever possible and give as little money as possible to the Bezos’ of the world.

-Seek out the beauty and joy. Flood my life with it!!!

-Immerse myself in creative play, learning and making. Take classes. Embrace having zero expectations other than just the joy of making which means letting go of the idea of perfection and just starting no matter the final results. It truly is about the journey.

-Make steps towards making a dream come true. Or a fistful of them.

-Embrace the things that have always offered comfort: tea, knitting, hosting, having a friend over for studio time, reading, cooking, nesting, spending time with my people.

-Keeping connection. Making time for a weekly phone call with someone important to me. Write a letter. You remember those don't you? "Mail. It was called mail."

-Getting out in nature

-Writing and journaling. Get all of those big feelings out of my head and onto paper.

-Planning adventures big and small

-Saying NO so that I can say yes to the things that align with the life I want to live.

-Creating rituals. This has become a very important component of my life. I have very special waking up and morning tea time rituals. Perhaps I will share more of them in my next post.

-Keeping lots of white space in my calendar. This is vitally important to my introvert self and leads to having more time for all of the above. 

I love the idea of a plan. It feels like much less pressure than a goal which tends to be imbued with endless amounts of expectation, possibility of failure, and laden with fear. Or is that just me? A plan is just a gentle idea, a kernel of a thought, a possibility, a dream. Plans change and that’s okay. We adapt as needed. I hope these were helpful to you and that you can find a bit of extra joy in your life today. 

With this post, I have begun a Substack. Where, after thinking about it for ages and waiting for the mythical "right time", in true Jen fashion, and having no clue what I am doing, I just dove in. With fear as my constant companion I did it, determined not to let perfectionism or a lack of technological skills stop me. Because why not? I hope to convince Emma, who has become rather techy, to make it pretty for me but she does not come cheap and her free time is at a premium as she strives to live her very best life. You should be able to follow this link and sign up to have my posts land in your inbox. It's totally free. I know over the years some of you have asked if you could sign up for a newsletter so it would appear that the answer is finally yes. At least for now I will also be posting the entries here because, well, this is home. And we all know there is no place like home.

These Sacred Days

Hello you with the gentle spirit in a hard world. How about if this year you hold some sacred space for yourself? How about if this year you vow to carve out time to rest, to feed your spirit, to replenish your soul?

Hello you who is a caregiver, a friend, a manager, a business owner, a planner, a volunteer, a parent, an employee, a person who gives so much to those around you. How about if this year you start giving a little bit of that energy back to yourself so that you can serve those around you with a glad spirit rather than maybe feeling resentful and stressed?

 

How about if this year you make space in your life for a sacred day or afternoon or hour? 

What if you got up a little early or stayed up a little late? What if you told the people in your house and life, that on Sunday afternoon you will be doing something just for you? Or if your life allows it, what if you join me on Wednesdays, or chose Fridays or every 3rd Tuesday, to do whatever it is that makes your soul take flight? When you do it doesn't matter. That you do it, makes all the difference.

What if today you promised to take better care of yourself by doing what makes you happy? That is your job and nobody else’s. What if you stopped waiting for someone else to do it?

What if you did this very small, but not small at all thing for yourself?

Start where you are and do what you can according to the stage of life you are in right now. Spend your time guilt free doing something creative or practicing yoga, napping, writing, reading or staring out a window, daydreaming, baking bread, meditating or tending your garden...anything you want to do for the sheer sake of enjoyment and not because it needs to be done.

What if you create a space for yourself that feels special whether it's a room, a desk, a cozy chair or a basket full of things that delight you?

Instead of listing all the reasons you can’t, why not list all the reasons you should fortify your spirit in difficult times? This is not a selfish endeavor. This is doing the important work of nurturing your soul. 

Dear you with the weary spirit and the endless to do lists that will never go away and never be finished, what if this year you created a practice that could change the way you view your life? 

I hope you will. I started this practice more than 7 years ago and it has been life changing for me. It has given me comfort and peace during cancer, covid, renovations, loss and any number of very hard moments in my life. It has been the thing I look forward to every week for so long that I cannot imagine my time without it. It has deepened my creativity, gratitude and joy. I guard it fiercely and everyone around me knows that I am unavailable on my Sacred Day. I found that when I started taking myself seriously and respecting my time and energy, those around me followed suit. It has quite literally changed my life. 

I plan to come back later in the week with a bit of a recap of the last 8 months but I need to muster the energy (it has been an exhausting year both mentally and physically) and I am still firmly planted in the hush of the post Christmas season where my days consist of the bare minimum of homekeeping, lots of making, reading, movie watching and pretending I'm going to make dinner only to choose leftovers or takeout instead 50% of the time. Happiest New Year! May this year be kind and gentle to all of us.