Before this morning I had never been dumpster diving, trash picking, curb shopping or any other form of taking someone's garbage and dragging it home and making it mine. This morning fate stepped in to change that when I decided to jump in my car and return some overdue books to the library. I made the executive decision to not bother changing out of my jammies, my short short jammies, no less, to make this 3 block library run.
On the way, I spotted a drop leaf table on a side street. I ran by to see if it was worth risking embarrassing myself in front of neighbors and was a bit relieved to see that half of the table was actually missing.
After I got home I realized I had failed to return a book and went back to the library, this time spotting a wooden crate at the same location. I frantically began calculating the odds of being spotted getting cheeky in my short short jammies and decided it was worth the risk. I felt like I won the gold medal of naughtiness this morning on my daring adventure. Hopefully none of my neighbors were permanently scarred by my shenanigans. Next time I return books I promise I will be properly clothed.