Listening to the Stillness

The house is quiet this morning. It's just me for the first time in a week. A four day weekend spent with the one who loves me best. Chilly weather, the first fire, lunch on Main Street, letter writing, book shopping, a birthday dinner for Maddie's guy, breakfast at Cracker Barrel, sitting on the porch, naps, football, knitting, reading. All things that make my heart sing.

And now the quiet. I need the quiet. A primal need. The foggy morning. The soft autumn light making the house feel even cozier than normal.

I come home from making the school run and throw the ball for the dog. I think the view from our backyard has never been prettier than at this very moment.

I come inside and mean to make my breakfast. A cup of chai will be just the thing. I get distracted straightening up the house, making tidy all the corners that get messy during the weekend. I know it is Tuesday but it feels like Monday. I'm practicing mindfulness as I go along, something I've really started to incorporate into my life. I especially like to start my week off with a little reminder to be present as much as possible. Mindful Mondays. A way to remember to find the joy and to fill myself with gratitude. I am thankful for this day.

I pick up the camera because it helps me memorize a moment. For as long as I can remember, I've been taking mental snapshots of perfect moments in my life that I just knew I always wanted to remember. My first boat ride as a little girl- the way the boat's motor made the frothy water look like a fountain soda, the smell of the air whipping my hair around my head. My grandmother pressing my grandfather's shirts- the smell of the spray starch and the way she would hang them from the top of the door frame as she finished each one. But now I have my camera and my words and no longer have to rely solely on my senses to do the work.

There is nothing like a morning. All the possibilities of the day ahead of you. I have a mountain of ironing that needs to be done, an upstairs that needs to be cleaned. I don't know how much of that I will do today. I did too much yesterday and I feel inclined to use that as an excuse to spend my time more creatively. But then I chide myself for feeling like I need to justify my choice. I'm sure this day would be better spent in the studio than marking chores off my to do list. Maybe today's to do list should read: make something, read something, listen to some beautiful music, feed your soul.