I am in love with my life. Even when it's a big, beautiful mess. Maybe especially when it's a big beautiful mess.
We packed a lot into the last couple of days. There was bookshelf shopping, nest fluffing, baking, singing, family, friends, laughter and tears. Sometimes there was even laughing through the tears. What else could you possibly want in life?
There was wedding talk, preparing to say good bye to a beloved cat, lunch in another state with long lost relatives and unexpected guests walking through the back gate on Sunday evening, complete with beer and wine in their bag.
I am, by nature, a planner. I love my calendar, order, to do lists and schedules. I am slowly discovering how good it is for me to let go of the plan and instead embrace the now, the possibilities and the spontaneity. When I take my eyes off the schedule, I'm more fully able to see the beauty in what is going on around me, more able to embrace the everyday moments that make up my life- the feel of his hand on my leg in the car after he has been gone all week on business, the heartache in my big girl's eyes as she sits with her beloved cat of almost 18 years in her lap, knowing these moments with him are fleeting. the sound of my little girl singing the soundtrack from Wicked at the top of her lungs in her room, the joy of welcoming good friends into my home even though I have a stain on my shirt, no makeup on, dinner dishes on the counter and home that looks decidedly lived in.
This weekend was well lived and I wish I could commit every messy detail to memory.
I am in love with my life. It's not perfect. But I am still in love with it. I am as happy and thankful as I have ever been. Through the joy, and the grief.
There was wedding talk, preparing to say good bye to a beloved cat, lunch in another state with long lost relatives and unexpected guests walking through the back gate on Sunday evening, complete with beer and wine in their bag.
I am, by nature, a planner. I love my calendar, order, to do lists and schedules. I am slowly discovering how good it is for me to let go of the plan and instead embrace the now, the possibilities and the spontaneity. When I take my eyes off the schedule, I'm more fully able to see the beauty in what is going on around me, more able to embrace the everyday moments that make up my life- the feel of his hand on my leg in the car after he has been gone all week on business, the heartache in my big girl's eyes as she sits with her beloved cat of almost 18 years in her lap, knowing these moments with him are fleeting. the sound of my little girl singing the soundtrack from Wicked at the top of her lungs in her room, the joy of welcoming good friends into my home even though I have a stain on my shirt, no makeup on, dinner dishes on the counter and home that looks decidedly lived in.
This weekend was well lived and I wish I could commit every messy detail to memory.
I am in love with my life. It's not perfect. But I am still in love with it. I am as happy and thankful as I have ever been. Through the joy, and the grief.
I can feel your joy in every word! Like me, you feel grateful for the little things that make up our lives....we are ever so blessed.
ReplyDeleteYou do sound happy. I am sorry about your kitty. That is so hard. Enjoy those moments when your children are still at home. But as they grow and spread their wings, that is fun as well.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you can ask for much more than a life well lived.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your kitty, but happy about the wedding planning and good friends.
Enjoy your home and I know you always do.
Oh Jen, I had to smile reading this post especially your "stain on the skirt" moment, it always happens to me!
ReplyDeleteLife is really all about the unexpected moments.... the good as well as the sad!
Anna xx
What a fantastic post!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post -- what a wonderful weekend and also feeling your joy and happiness!
ReplyDeleteThis post had everything I love in it - new bookshelves, a grown-up daughter, a loved kitty cat, a mom's heart. I'm right there with you at this stage of life. Your post at Christmas was one of the only ones I've ever read that mentioned that awareness that "after this year, everything will be different."
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry about you cat. I had a best friend soul mate cat of 19 years I had to say goodbye to last year. The pain and sadness are going to be part of her life forever but the memories are grand. One very helpful part for me was having her paw prints made at the pet cemetery. Such a comfort to have those precious paws. A memory album is a good project to for grieving and very helpful. Please know I am praying for you. Saying goodbye to a beloved friend is immensely difficult. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post Jen. I want to feel in love with my life again. I haven't felt that way lately and I want to get it back. We've had some big changes around these parts and I struggle with them sometimes instead of just accepting them. I know it will get better. : ) I'm so sorry about your kitty. Saying goodbye to someone that gives you unconditional love for 18 years is not an easy thing to do. God bless. xo
ReplyDelete~ Wendy
What a lovely post full of gratitude and love. I am so sorry to hear that you have to say goodbye to your kitty. That is absolutely heartbreaking.
ReplyDeletei love how you found and continue to find .. beauty in this occasional mess of life. and i'm terribly sorry for your heartache over your beloved kitty. i know it well. :(
ReplyDeleteI love your thoughts here Jen. I also love my schedule and planning…but find that so often the spontaneous happenings that interrupt my "plan" bring such joyful moments and treasured memories. I'm so sorry to hear your sweet cat is not doing well. Praying for your family, as the loss of a pet is never easy. (And on a lighter note? That's a happy stack of quilts! I love them!)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful as always my friend. I featured your blog on Saturday Shout Out this morning. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your kitty. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your kitty. What a cutie! xoxo Su
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your post about your cat, I curled up next to my Sam Man who is 16, laid my head on his side and listened to him purr. We never have them for the length of time we want (forever!)and I feel your pain. May you have another great weekend coming up! :) Kit
ReplyDeleteHello there lovely lady - I haven't been 'online' for a while - life getting in the way........ Then I was in my workroom on the laptop and my husband shut the door and one of my lovely jars full of pearls fell off and landed on my screen!!! Needless to say it did not survive. Anyway I have been crocheting in the winter sunshine in my conservatory (its very cold here today in England) and listening to my favourite books and meeting new authors on my ipod. Our local library has an audio club which means I can download talking stories and it enables me to enjoy 'reading' whilst crocheting. I have two new grandchildren coming this summer so am crocheting baby blankets. Enjoy your 'de-cluttering' and Spring days....................
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