Autumn's Arrival

 

Right on cue, autumn arrived today. It is one of those impossibly beautiful, perfectly seasonally appropriate days. The temperature is 54 degrees, the rain has steadily fallen all day and time is passing so slowly that I find myself constantly amazed that it's not later in the day. I could happily relive this day over and over.

The wind whistles and gusts, rattling the studio window screens, autumn music plays in the other room, cozy lamps light dark corners of the house, a candle flickers in an amber jar. I wear the softest clothes in my wardrobe, all in shades of grey except for my hand knit socks taking their maiden voyage on the freshly washed hardwood floors. The house is tidy and my to do list is forgotten. My focus is on the things that give me pleasure: knitting, reading, stitching and staring out the window feeling like the luckiest girl that ever lived. 

He comes downstairs and asks me to join him for lunch. Afterwards we curl up on the sofa together, intertwined in that way our bodies do without thought. We fit perfectly. We snuggle in and set the alarm for 20 minutes. He drifts, I rest and smile. He wakes up and kisses me and drifts again. We reset the alarm- 5 more minutes. I try to remember what my days were like before he started working from home. I lay there completely content, sure I have never been this happy in my entire life. 

He heads back upstairs, I head back to the studio, after all it is Sacred Day. I'm surrounded by beautiful messes. I stitch and think. I daydream about the cozy months to come. There is tea and sourdough toast smeared with dark chocolate. I knit. I try on my sweater. I look at the clock again, I smile. I whisper thank you to the universe.

This is the kind of day I want to memorize-close my eyes and commit the feeling of it to memory- imprint it on my brain so I can recall it at will when I am in need of the comfort of it. I hope that day never comes. I hope I will be this happy til the end of my days.

I Can

With the change of seasons, both figurative and literal, I feel my focus shifting. The nest is empty once again and summer is waning. Autumn can't get here fast enough for me. The potager garden is the thing keeping me out there watering when I'm tempted to let the garden die a slow, parched death while I sit inside under a fan. The idea of falling leaves and brisk days feels a little bit like a lie right now, so I remind myself that there is something to love about every season. Even if that something is just tomatoes and margaritas. This heat could make me cranky if I let it. 

But then I remember...there is still a lot to love about this season of life right now. In between the frustration, heartache, sorrow and blazing summer heat.

I can still wake up in the morning grateful to be alive, grateful for another day. Instead of going through my days and life on autopilot I can cherish the chance to make homemade beer bread one day and ricotta cheese the next. I can roast some garlic and spread it on a thick BLT sandwich with garden fresh tomatoes, remoulade and ripe avocado and serve it to my girls for an unexpected family lunch.

I can spend some time in my studio, losing myself in creative pursuits either alone or with a friend, the hours passing without any awareness, while I work in an inspired stupor.

 I can pour myself a cup of tea, shut the door and have some quiet time planning and  journaling.

I can go on a spontaneous brunch date with my best guy, have dinner with friends and make homemade lobster rolls that remind me of being on vacation. 

I can cuddle up and read a book, watch a movie or find a new tv show. 

Life is easier if we focus on the cans instead of the can'ts. 

I can choose to have a life full of days well lived, moments cherished and small joys observed while appreciating the things that are right in front of me.