August 05, 2021

New Beginnings

 

Hello friends. It's been awhile hasn't it? I have come back to this space many times over the months. I have even written a few blog posts but never published them. I don't know why. Something just felt like it was missing, my authentic voice most likely. 

When I pulled  my camera out yesterday, I realized I had not taken a photo with it since April and even then, very few. That is one of the clearest signs of how life is affecting me. In a typical year I would take thousands of photos. In 2020 and 2021 so far it's been very minimal. So here I share with you random photos of various times with no specific relevance and a promise to myself to get back to seeing the beauty of the world through my lens.

By now I imagine we've all heard the term languishing in reference to the current state of the world and it's effect on our psyches.  If not here is an article you might like to read on the subject. I'd say it's a pretty accurate description of what I've been going through. I've touched on the subject of being a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) before I think, but when you combine that with being an empath, it really is an overwhelming state of affairs that requires me to turn inwards. I mean I have no choice. It's survival. I shrink my world and go into recovery mode. I've been like this always but it wasn't until the past several years that I started to understand why. When this overwhelm happens, I avoid the news, social media and all the opinions of all of the people. I pick up my knitting needles, put on something cozy and lose myself in the quiet, stitch by stitch, needles lulling me into peace with their repetitive, rhythmic music. That is where I do the recovering. 

There is no need to worry though. Life is good here. There have been some challenges but I am healthy and happy and regaining some things I've lost along the way. The last several months have been filled with friends, family, travel and new experiences. Also, old experiences that felt like new experiences after a long hiatus.  I have cherished each of them even as I felt a bit overwhelmed by some of them. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone by saying yes to many things. There was a cross country road trip with my best friend for an art retreat, a week at the beach, a long weekend with our couples friends in TN, many gatherings, dinners out, celebrations, a new job for my sweetie and so many other things.

Through this time there was always an underlying feeling of storing up memories for whatever might come next. And sadly it would appear my intuition paid off there...I have learned more than ever to trust my instincts this past year. I'm growing into my super powers.

Now after months of saying yes, I am ready to shift my priorities again and be more selective with my days. A new season is coming and I plan to embrace it by slowing down and being more still, with a heart full of happy memories stored up from the last several months. In a time that can be difficult to do so, I'm looking forward to what happens next.

15 comments:

  1. Lovely to read your post Jen. And how you're coping with everything. My son just said to me 'it's a perfect day for baking' being a wet and wild Thursday. I haven't baked in a year and a half! All the mojo's have gone. So I find it comforting to read your words and continue waiting for 'me' to re-emerge. I'm so happy for you and wish you continued wellbeing xx

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  2. Your words are powerful and timely today. Thank you for sharing.

    X Chy

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  3. What lovely pictures of your pets - they look calm and I don't doubt make you feel calm too! I feel as you do, that sometimes everything needs to slow down and I want to take things at a different pace. Wishing you good health and happiness :)

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  4. Did you enjoy Tennessee? You weren't too far away from me, LOL! It's nice to read a post from you. You're on my sidebar on my blog, and I was hoping you'd been busy traveling and visiting with family and friends, and I was right! Take care, sweet friend. Your posts are always so peaceful, and I treasure them.

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  5. Languishing...a perfect description of my mood, especially as we started taking Covid patients at my long term care facility where I work again this week.

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  6. So good to hear from you again on here. As always, your posts hit home with me. We're very much alike in so many ways. You often describe the exact way I've been feeling. I'm also an INFJ, HSP, and a bit of an empath (or maybe more than a bit!). I think I've been keeping a pretty good balance of self-care and introversion along with day trips with the hubby, seeing friends and family, running usual errands and keeping up with health care appointments.

    xoxo

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  7. So glad to see you back but more importantly that you are in a good place all around. Thank you for your post...you are strong and amazing :)
    Kelli

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  8. I totally understand your desire to pull back. I do the same thing, always have. When the world feels to large, too unsettling, I retreat. I also find myself over stimulated and must retreat. I'm glad your starting to photograph your world. I think the answers are there.

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  9. It is so good to read your post and know that I am not alone (as it feels that way sometimes). I always love seeing your beautiful pictures. I hope to see more in the future! Take care! Andrea W

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  10. I was told many many years ago (about 34 to be exact) that I was a "sensitive". And I've agreed with that all along.. and then the word "empath" came into being, and I knew I was that too.. and now HSP and again, I KNOW I am that... I feel so much the way you do.. and have retreated from the world for the most part, since Feb. of 2020. Like you, I have forced myself to "get out there" and comingle a little bit, which I have done, but each time, it's hard and I want to just hurry back to my little haven, my home.. and retreat to my craftroom and spend hours lost in my own zone. I am still having to really push myself to get out and do a few things, but I try, as I do want to continue to make some memories that I can photograph and cherish! Take care... your posts always resonate with me so much.... Marilyn

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  11. I so hear you. Haven't been blogging either for nearly a year now. All the signs you describe are so familiar (HSP, Empath)and being in the middle of the (peri)menopause doesn't help either. I really need to be alone sometimes as everything is too overwhelming.
    Lovely to see you back!! X

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  12. I am a sensitive person myself, very aware of others energy and it can be so draining. The past 18 months with Covid has not been bad for me. I work but then stay home as much as possible, I love wearing a mask, it is my shield to the world. Take good care of yourself.

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