December 18, 2021

Christmas Time is Here

 
These last years, time passes differently.  Entire days, weeks and months slip by in a steady, familiar rhythm around here. The routines have shifted and given way to new patterns and flow. My guy now works from home full time and permanently and while I really like that, it does have a ripple effect on my days. More of my time and energy is absorbed by it than I would have guessed leaving me less time to accomplish the mundane which means less time to spend on the fun things.

I also find that I move at a slower pace these days. It's not something I choose, but seems to be my new default. I don't really mind. I have become more of a meanderer than a go getter. The only time I seem to be able to switch it into high gear is when I have a deadline- like company coming. Otherwise, I'm here starting one thing, walking off to follow a distraction, going back to what I started before, faff and potter, rinse and repeat until at the end of a day I'm asking myself what did I even do today? I have no idea. I'm baffled. I know I scarcely sat, I didn't take any time in the studio but I still have no idea. Invisible jobs and immeasurable accomplishments. I'm currently watching a time management for creatives class with Lisa Congdon. My goal is to get a better handle on the musts so I can have more time and energy for the wants. It is the wants that fuel me. I don't wake up in the morning excited to mop or take care of admin. I just want to be in the studio 24/7. For the last several months I often find myself waking up in the 4 o'clock hour drawn to my space. Whereas before I would have tried to go back to sleep and even stayed in bed if I couldn't, now I get up and tuck myself into my favorite corner and I never regret the choice.  


I enjoy my own company. I love time spent quietly and alone. Spending every available extra moment I have in the studio fills that need for me and I'm so fortunate to have the space and also a husband that supports that. I feel like I start a lot more than I finish in the studio these days and that's okay. All creative play is important and one idea leads to another. I'm working on removing guilt and "shoulds" from my studio time. I'm also working on letting go of perfection and just starting and seeing where it takes me. Sometimes I love the results and sometimes I don't. These days I have more ideas than I have time but after the vast desert of creativity that was my life for a good portion of 2020 and 2021, I am more than grateful for it. Long live the creative swirl that is my imagination.

And now the winter months are upon us and I'm looking forward to the natural slowing that follows. Calendars with few commitments, more time for creating. I'm excited to burrow into our cozy cottage and enjoy a season of fires in the keeping room, reading, cooking and making. Keeping my mind and hands busy while my body rests. There truly is no place like home for comfort. It is my fervent hope that soon the weather will change and the cold, snowy brisk days I crave will be a reality.


Much of this winter will be spent planning our renovations which are slated to begin in April- the same month we celebrate eleven years in this house. Eleven years spent dreaming and working to make this home ours and I am so happy that we get to make these dreams come true and maximize our cottage's potential. My patience is finally paying off and I can hardly believe it. The wait has been painful at times as being able to picture it done can be a bit of a curse when you can't do anything about it. We will have waited a year for our contractor to be able to get us on her schedule but I know she is so worth the wait and I can't wait to share our experience with you.

The project is a large one-these things do have a tendency to snowball. She thinks it will take about 5 months. We will be moving out, which makes me a little sad but will be so worth it and I am looking at it as a bit of a vacation as living in a place that isn't your own and doesn't come with an extensive to do list for you to manage every day will feel like a bit of a vacation! We will probably be over here daily though tending the gardens, getting the mail, checking on progress, doing some work ourselves, letting the dog run in the backyard and enjoying time on our porches. I think that will help ease the pain as well. And more than anything just knowing that we are going to love this home even more and that all of the hard work will be worth it in the end.

I am just grateful for this little life of mine. Sometimes I think- should I be doing more? I feel like Kathleen Kelly..."Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it or because I haven't been brave?" But I know I have been brave where it counts and I do have some dreams yet to be realized...but at the end of the day I'm just so content where I am. And I'm thoroughly grateful that I've ended up where I am. There can be no true happiness in life without gratitude and when you view your life through that lens it truly changes everything. 

Be well friends.

15 comments:

  1. Love this post..I understand the ''What have I done..I haven't sat down feeling"...

    wWntering..a time to rest and retreat. Once we stop wishing it were summer, winter can be a glorious season in which the world takes on a sparse beauty and even the pavements sparkle. It’s a time for reflection and recuperation, for slow replenishment, for putting your house in order.

    Doing those deeply unfashionable things—slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting—is a radical act now, but it is essential. This is a crossroads we all know, a moment when you need to shed a skin. If you do, you’ll expose all those painful nerve endings and feel so raw that you’ll need to take care of yourself for a while. If you don’t, then that skin will harden around you.

    It’s one of the most important choices you’ll ever make.

    Enjoy your holiday season.

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  2. I wake up at 4am frequently too and, like you, instead of thinking I am sleep deprived I cherish that golden hour for a cosy seat with my cat and a nice book :) We expect so much of ourselves, in the lead up until Christmas I have stopped giving myself lists of things I 'should' be doing and am just doing exactly what I fancy on my non work days :)

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  3. we remodeled our house 25 yrs ago and i swore i'd never do it again unless i could move out. also, you can safely double any estimate of how long it's going to take ((and that was before supply chain delays.)

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  4. i am so excited to watch your cottage transform from perfect to perfecter!!! you've waited so long ... i hope the finished produt is everything you've been dreaming of over the years <3

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  5. Jen, I love these little glimpses into your studio. I always enjoy seeing what you are working on, knitting, crafting, decorating. Your vintage style is so lovely. I have been moving at a slower pace these days, too, and often wonder if I'm doing enough. I have two teenagers who are so busy and constantly moving from one thing to the next, while I just try to make our home a safe place and support them in all they do. I can't wait to follow along on your home renovations next year. We have a couple projects for the new year, also, but smaller scale - we are hoping to renovate a bathroom and work on our backyard and it is so fun to think about it all and plan. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!!!

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  6. This is so lovely. Merry Christmas.

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  7. I agree with you about gratitude and happiness. Your post is lovely, and I think you lead an enviable life. You seem so grounded and content! I should've read Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year. I should try to find it at our local library! Merry Christmas!

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  8. Another beautiful post! That happens with me sometimes too...I wonder at the end of the day what I did all day, even though I was super busy. But sometimes just the act of "living" and homekeeping takes a lot of time and effort. We are constantly fluffing our nests and taking care of errands and paperwork and laundry, cleaning, cooking, menu planning, taking care of pets...give ourselves a pat on the back for keeping things running smoothly!

    I can't imagine moving out of my home for renovations...that is so brave of you, but I understand it's necessary. We have lived here 31 years and have done minor renovations...hardwood floors put in, minor bathroom updates, fireplace mantel built, cut out in wall between the kitchen and living room. We desperately need a kitchen renovation and both bathrooms, too. As well as some professional landscaping done...and new furnace, roof, and siding. It just never ends!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family. xoxo

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  9. Lovely post. Can't wait to see what you have up your sleeve for the renovations....Everything looks perfect now!!! Enjoy your "vacation" time also.
    Merry Christmas and Blessed New Year 2022 to you and your family!!!

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  10. I agree that puttering about the house/studio is one of the most glorious things in life. I hope your renovation goes well!

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  11. Thank you Jen for this blog post. It was a nice reminder for me this hectic week to slow down, calm my mind and soul and just breathe. Also a lovely reminder about how exciting and creative the long winter months can be. Happy holidays to you and your loved ones! :)

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  12. Jen, your words and thoughts are my thoughts, only written more eloquently. I feel the same about time and meandering through the days. I always have "cup envy" whenever you post a pic of one of your new (or new to me) cups. Yes, I have a cup addiction problem... but always room for one more! I wish you the best on your renovation. So excited to see the "AFTER" pics. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Jen.

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  13. I love your honesty and way of speaking from your heart, Jennifer. I, too, have a retired husband. Before that, I gelt very carefree about what I did all day...in an empty nest I could come and go as I pleased, read all afternoon, just "Me Time". I kept up with laundry, shopping, cooking, and keeping the house running. But with him here, I question the ways of my free time. Hmmmm....

    Wonderful news on your renovations. You seem to be taking it in stride with moving away for a bit. If I waited this long I'd be happy in a motel!! We had a lot of work on our lakehouse this past summer and fall, and we were fortunate to simply stay here in the city, I was beyond happy to see the progress each time we visited, like a present slowly opened. Please share when you can!!

    Much love and Happy Holidays!

    Jane x

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  14. It is admirable that you want these renovations but I would wonder why? You seem to love your house so why does it need a renovation that requires you to move out. This is not a judgement just a question.

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    1. We do love our house! That doesn't mean there aren't a lot of things in desperate need of being repaired and updated. We've made the best of it for 11 years but it is definitely well past due! I'm so excited to have fully functioning kitchen and bathrooms.

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