Christmas Time is Here

 

These last years, time passes differently.  Entire days, weeks and months slip by in a steady, familiar rhythm around here. The routines have shifted and given way to new patterns and flow. My guy now works from home full time and permanently and while I really like that, it does have a ripple effect on my days. More of my time and energy is absorbed by it than I would have guessed leaving me less time to accomplish the mundane which means less time to spend on the fun things.

I also find that I move at a slower pace these days. It's not something I choose, but seems to be my new default. I don't really mind. I have become more of a meanderer than a go getter. The only time I seem to be able to switch it into high gear is when I have a deadline- like company coming. Otherwise, I'm here starting one thing, walking off to follow a distraction, going back to what I started before, faff and potter, rinse and repeat until at the end of a day I'm asking myself what did I even do today? I have no idea. I'm baffled. I know I scarcely sat, I didn't take any time in the studio but I still have no idea. Invisible jobs and immeasurable accomplishments. I'm currently watching a time management for creatives class with Lisa Congdon. My goal is to get a better handle on the musts so I can have more time and energy for the wants. It is the wants that fuel me. I don't wake up in the morning excited to mop or take care of admin. I just want to be in the studio 24/7. For the last several months I often find myself waking up in the 4 o'clock hour drawn to my space. Whereas before I would have tried to go back to sleep and even stayed in bed if I couldn't, now I get up and tuck myself into my favorite corner and I never regret the choice.  

I enjoy my own company. I love time spent quietly and alone. Spending every available extra moment I have in the studio fills that need for me and I'm so fortunate to have the space and also a husband that supports that. I feel like I start a lot more than I finish in the studio these days and that's okay. All creative play is important and one idea leads to another. I'm working on removing guilt and "shoulds" from my studio time. I'm also working on letting go of perfection and just starting and seeing where it takes me. Sometimes I love the results and sometimes I don't. These days I have more ideas than I have time but after the vast desert of creativity that was my life for a good portion of 2020 and 2021, I am more than grateful for it. Long live the creative swirl that is my imagination.

And now the winter months are upon us and I'm looking forward to the natural slowing that follows. Calendars with few commitments, more time for creating. I'm excited to burrow into our cozy cottage and enjoy a season of fires in the keeping room, reading, cooking and making. Keeping my mind and hands busy while my body rests. There truly is no place like home for comfort. It is my fervent hope that soon the weather will change and the cold, snowy brisk days I crave will be a reality.

Much of this winter will be spent planning our renovations which are slated to begin in April- the same month we celebrate eleven years in this house. Eleven years spent dreaming and working to make this home ours and I am so happy that we get to make these dreams come true and maximize our cottage's potential. My patience is finally paying off and I can hardly believe it. The wait has been painful at times as being able to picture it done can be a bit of a curse when you can't do anything about it. We will have waited a year for our contractor to be able to get us on her schedule but I know she is so worth the wait and I can't wait to share our experience with you.

The project is a large one-these things do have a tendency to snowball. She thinks it will take about 5 months. We will be moving out, which makes me a little sad but will be so worth it and I am looking at it as a bit of a vacation as living in a place that isn't your own and doesn't come with an extensive to do list for you to manage every day will feel like a bit of a vacation! We will probably be over here daily though tending the gardens, getting the mail, checking on progress, doing some work ourselves, letting the dog run in the backyard and enjoying time on our porches. I think that will help ease the pain as well. And more than anything just knowing that we are going to love this home even more and that all of the hard work will be worth it in the end.

I am just grateful for this little life of mine. Sometimes I think- should I be doing more? I feel like Kathleen Kelly..."Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it or because I haven't been brave?" But I know I have been brave where it counts and I do have some dreams yet to be realized...but at the end of the day I'm just so content where I am. And I'm thoroughly grateful that I've ended up where I am. There can be no true happiness in life without gratitude and when you view your life through that lens it truly changes everything. 

Be well friends.